Wednesday, August 17, 2011

J Baby - my great love

My hubster turned 37 this week. I don't know if I ever really thought 37 was old - but I certainly do not think it is anymore!
I love this man. I mean, in a sweet, ooey gooey, mushy gushy, make your heart beat faster sort of way. And I love him in a solid, resolute, firm, stand the test of time, for the rest of my life sort of way. And I think both are so important.

The last few years have been hard for us. It's hard on a man to barely make ends meet for his family. It is hard for a wife to deal with a discouraged partner. It's hard on marriage when its members are worn and exhausted and sometimes less than kind as a result. It is hard to feel like you are treading water in life - just staying afloat -and wondering if you are in your marriage too?  Yet it can be good.

It's good to know who will still be there at the end of the day. It's good to know no one is going anywhere. It's good to know you are still loved when you feel unlovely. It's good to find you are stronger than you knew. It is good to receive grace that you didn't know could be offered. It is good to crawl in bed with backs turned and still find feet that make their way to touch in the middle. It is good to know commitment. 

When everything is always ooey gooey chocolate and roses it is wonderful. The easy days and romance are the pulsing emotion of love. But the life in the trenches, no make up, yes I just said that and now I'm so sorry... the commitment... is the decided action of love. 

I am so blessed to know both. My J Babe still makes my heart beat faster. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him and have to stare a moment longer. I love being with him and he still makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. And I am in this till death do us part.

I love you Jason Scott - with an undying, crazy strong, ever growing, never regretting love. I love you as much as always and more than ever. Happy Birthday.

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