Blessed be the name of the Lord

I've spent the last few days laying on the couch recovering from an unexpected surgery.

For months now I have been going through the process, with Jason and some very dear friends, to be a surrogate. The Lord had so clearly laid it on our hearts to help give life to their baby. The process has been long. My body hasn't done what the doctors say is typical. Weeks turned into months... appointments, medicine, injections... and lots of prayers.

Finally, we had the transfer and got positive pregnancy results. there was such rejoicing that despite the difficulties, God had chosen to give life to this little babe. I was 6 weeks this week - looking forward to the 30 plus to come. Unfortunately I ended up on my bedroom floor writhing in pain this past Tuesday. I kept texting Jason telling him the pain wouldn't stop. He came home and after 3 hours of horrible pain I started bleeding. We went to ER.

The radiologist couldn't find anything via ultrasound in the uterus but only a mass on my left ovary. The pregnancy had become ectopic and the baby was growing in the fallopian tube near the ovary. I had to go right in for surgery where the baby and my left fallopian tube were removed.

There is grief with the loss of this life and in the loss of my sweet friend's dream. My heart is so heavy for them. But there is rejoicing in the faithfulness of our great God. My loving heavenly Father kept my mind fixed on Him - through the pain, the tears, and the myriad of thoughts while being rolled into an operating room, He called me to cast my cares on Him and reminded me that His ways are higher than my own.

SO for now we grieve - but not as those who have no hope. We trust in the Father's plans and say "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away... Blessed be the name of the Lord."